If you ever visit the great "nation" of South Africa, keep the following points in mind -- they could save your life.

Before I began, I'd like to clarify that I myself am White. My name is Evangelos "Ross" van Benschoten... doesn't get much more Dutch than that.

  • Every race is undesirable in South Africa. If it were up to us, only animals would live here.
  • 90% of South Africans are Black. 88% of top business executive management possissions are held by Whites, however.
  • The thing where Wikus and MNU ilegally evict all Prawns from District 9 -- that actually happened. See: [1]
  • If a White South African sees too many Black people in a given time, a psychological melt-down can occur in which said person will immediatly seek refuge in Canada.
  • Warren Eckhardt is a realistic compilation of all middle-aged White South African men.
  • The combination of a South African accent and our subsequent rolling of Rs (sometimes when the word doesn't even contain an R) single-handedly prompted 80% of British residents of South Africa to leave immediatly following the end of Apartheid in 1992.
  • South Africa won the UN "The most nothing going on at any given time" award in 1992, 1996, 1997, 2001, and 2003-2008.
  • The establishment of the great city of Johannesburg (where I also live) is the result of a bunch of dirty Dutchmen trekking with their wooden shoes, through the harsh, unforgiving rolling plains of central South Africa; eventually running out of weed and thus being forced to settle in what is now downtown Johannesburg.

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