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Hard to the Core, Sadistic to the Goddamn Pit of their Souls 2: The Chronicles of Haegemonia

Haegemonia February 17, 2013 User blog:Haegemonia

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--SPOILER ALERT--SPOILER ALERT--EVERY SENIOR CITIZEN NEEDS SPOILER ALERT--

Okay, so now that it's reading week for my university, I decided now shall be the time I finally get round to playing DS3. I'm going to be going for every achievement you can get for the 360 sans those which require Gold Membership, because seriously fuck Visceral and fuck Microsoft for those and all the other times they've screwed me over (BUT WHY DO I STILL LOVE THEM SO MUCH?). Anyways, this does mean I'll be doing Hardcore mode so... Yay... You know, with its "One Death and you're screwed" system.

...

WHY DO YOU KEEP HURTING ME SO BAD VISCERAL?

...

Ahem.

I've got it all planned out, I'll be doing a standard run to get most of the trophies (except those for completing Pure Survival, Classic, and [motherfucking] Hardcore mode along with those taffing [word up to my Thief bros] BS Co-Op only ones). I'll then do a Classic run, then a Pure Survival, and save that oh-so-lovely Hardcore mode for last. So, anyways, I'll post things here from time to time about the game, though I expect most of you will primarily just be looking forward to my suffering through Hardcore mode (you bastards).

Let's do this thang. --Haegemonia(talk) 00:29, February 17, 2013 (UTC)


Okay, I was just reading over the achievements guide for DS3 and, apparently, you need to play co-op to get all the collectibles (and their associated achievements as well). As you can imagine, I am furious. Indeed, this is technically a second draft of my post; my first draft was full to the brim with expletives and veiled threats and other such butt-hurtery it wasn't even funny. Now that I've calmed down some, I've decided that, rather than roll over and take this like a filthy little bitch (which, admittedly, I am), I'm going to do something constructive. I'm going to be setting up a forum post with a proposal that, if you are interested in seeing local or CPU co-op for Dead Space 3, I would recommend you check out.

Now, with that out the way, let me apologize for the relatively un-funny nature of this post and let me assure you any future updates here will be free from non-humorous rage; humorous rage, on the other hand, will remain in full force because you sadistic sons-of-bitches seem to enjoy my pain. --Haegemonia(talk) 01:16, February 17, 2013 (UTC)



Okay, I've played it up until the Conning Tower side mission and so I've got my thoughts. First off, let me say the game is great fun, but I'm already feeling annoyance about the Co-Op only stuff. When I realized the SK-1P could take me to the Brusilov I was like "Huh, maybe I can at least explore the area, even if I can't do the quest". That, unfortunately, was not the case, and I ended up standing outside the Brusilov's airlock just hammering the A-Button like that would actually accomplish something. ALL THOSE GODDAMN COLLECTIBLES AND THAT SIDE QUEST.

General brusilov by olgasha-d39g1ey

Basically, I want to get inside the ship version of this guy. In a non-gay way, I mean.

One of the first things I've noticed is that the enemies seem to take more damage before dying, however, this may be due to the fact I've just been using the basic Plasma Cutter and basic Line Gun and comparing them to the guns of the previous games. Also, the two gun limit was a bit weird as was the universal ammo, but given that it seems you can make ridiculously over-powered guns with the crafting system I suppose that's alright the former is alright, while the latter seems fine gameplay-wise (but lore-wise, that's gonna be hard to reconcile). Does anyone have a good recipe for an uber-powered Plasma-Cutter like weapons as well as a Force Gun like weapon? Those are basically the only weapons I ever had to use in Dead Space and Dead Space 2, and I've grown attached to them but need some extra firepower.

On the matter of environments, the interiors have been somewhat monotonous so far, but I'm hoping that they'll become more varied now that I'm getting into the meat of the game. The space environments are really expansive and fascinating, it's just a shame that they are functionally so devoid of things to do; mind you, I've still probably spent half my time floating through space shooting out vents and windows to get whatever's inside (usually just some lame-ass ammo), such that I imagine the rest of the team is getting pretty pissed at Isaac just spending all his time floating through space and shooting at anything with a yellow tint. Well, that and treating his Scavenger Bot like the most adorable thing ever, despite how gimmicky it is (I love that goddamn little thing).

Dead-Space-3-Isaac-float

"Isaac, seriously, you need to get to the Terra Nova before we all-" "FUCK YOU. SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE"

Story-wise, nothing seems TOO bad, though the weepy pre-teen drama of Ellie, Isaac, and Norton is making basically every part of my body with good taste want to puke (the other parts are too busy dreaming up designs for bedazzled three-wolf moon t-shirts with unbuttoned Asian dragon shirts over top). I particularly like the opening bits of the game and really wish I could have spent more time in the past, but what can you do.

One thing that is bothering me a fair bit is the fact that not only is everyone's tech compatible with 200 year old technology, but that alot of the technology from 200 years ago still seems to be in place when one considers the lunar city (another place I wish I could have spent alot more time in). I suppose you could argue that the lunar city, which appears to basically be space Detroit meets space Beijing, has been around for that long and its so poor they've just left alot of the old stuff there, but still.

The whole thing with the limited EarthGov presence beyond Norton's team also seems really phoned in; I mean, come on, the last game clearly demonstrated EarthGov was, in terms of sheer power, far greater then the Unitologists so how exactly did it get so bad that there is just the "last" battalion? Even with the apparent spread of Necromorphs, it seems like EarthGov should be a far bigger player than it thus far has proven to be.

Also, I really just want Isaac to punch Carver in his goddamn bollock-gargling throat; seriously, enough goddamn angst.

Pickled Testicle Sausage

What Carver gargles with every night.


--Haegemonia(talk) 03:38, February 18, 2013 (UTC)



Okay, I've just now reached Tau Volantis; that was quite a ride. Before I get to that, let me give you an idea of how things went for me.

To begin (I wince whenever I use a preposition at the beginning of a sentence, but I had to vary it from "First off"), I got a bit of a surprise when I loaded up my game and found myself at the area before the tram to aft and mid-section, which kinda sucked because I had to go through that goddamn double Regenerator fight. Yeah, the save system for this game kinda sucks.

The Conning Tower side mission was pretty interesting and fairly different from the UMS Greely side mission in terms of pacing and style, such that I'm glad to see the developers didn't go the route of the first Mass Effect (almost identical bunkers in an empty wasteland/almost identical ships in the middle of nowhere anyone?) nor that of Severed (oh boy did I make a mistake saving that for last when I had purchased both Severed and Traitor's Keep for Fable 3).

The next stretch of game was fairly uneventful, other than those GODDAMN REGENERATORS CONSTANTLY GETTING UP IN MY GRILL. When I reached the part that I actually got the opportunity to kill them with that strangely placed turret ("No, no, let's put the turret if front on the inside of the ship where it can't possibly hit anything except the gears of the door. That's right, on tracks that can't possibly serve any practical purpose. Oh, if possible, could we also store a crapload of munitions behind them for no reason?"), let's just say I relished said payback.

Now, as for the "ride" down to the planet's surface, that was a rather fun (if brief and simple) sequence. Half the time things exploded I didn't even know whether or not that was scripted or was me screwing up. Hell, by the time I got through the atmosphere I didn't even realize I was still piloting the ship (instead of just manning the gun) for the first while; I did get the Space Ace achievement, so I didn't feel like such a tool. Also: How many people, when that chunk of debris went through the window, desperately hoped that was Norton? I know it wasn't, but at first I was pleased because I thought the crappy love (co-dependence borne of perilous events?) triangle was over; when I quickly realized Norton was still alive I got so disappointed I didn't even really care when my ship made like a banana and tore right the fuck in half (I'm pretty sure that's from Back to the Future).

I will note though that I'm so goddamn glad every single person on that ship proved, once again, they are as useless as Bungie's attempts to convince everyone Destiny isn't going to be an MMORPG are pointless. Seriously, between that whiny-guy-who's-not-Norton not being able to figure out how to remove the port booster from a ruined engine DESPITE IT CLEARLY BEING SHOWN HOW TO DO IT and the genius crew of the Eudora who just flew into a minefield thinking they were just magical blinky hunks of metal that ships can magically fly through, I'm really thinking that the Eudora may have been the short bus of the EDF.

Cookie-shoulder-3

The second-in-command of the Eudora.

Also, in case you're wondering, the answer is yes. I did go back to the Brusilov and try to get inside again, because I cannot let things go. That goddamn ship...

Still, I am looking forwards to exploring Tau Volantis, having fun with the local wildlife and all that. Indeed, though I expect things will only get darker now that I have left space, I am comforted by the knowledge I am one step closer to living my dream of being Sean Connery in Zardoz.

Seanconnery-zardoz

What every man aspires to be.

--Haegemonia(talk) 03:13, February 19, 2013 (UTC)

Sorry about the delay in posting (I've beat the game already), but I've sort of lost my drive to play Dead Space 3 for a while because of this whole Co-Op issue (I know it may seem weird to you, but it seems either my OCD or some such has put me in a bit of a funk). So, for now, I've just been playing Chrono Trigger for the iPad (normally I REALLY dislike time travel-related media because the sheer number of plot holes present in virtually every single example of such [the exceptions being those which utilize the Novikov Self-Consistency Principle and the Parallel Time Hypothesis], but I really have enjoyed this game), so that'll have to hold me over for now.

--Haegemonia(talk) 00:55, March 9, 2013 (UTC)

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