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Gorvar reviews: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (series)

Gorvar July 20, 2010 User blog:Gorvar

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Star Wars: The Clone Wars (series)

Hello everyone i'm back and boy am I pissed.

As you know there is a series out called Star Wars: The Clone Wars, it's a sequel on a animated macro series of Star Wars: Clone wars (which was FAR superior). So...what is my problem with this series, let's have a look.

First of for those who dont know 'The Clone Wars' it's a galactic war which rampaged through the Star Wars universe 32-29 years before Star Wars Episode 4 which destroyed the Jedi order and brought the Empire as the major player of the Star Wars universe for decades to come. You may call me a heretic but...I enjoyed the Clone Wars more then the Rebellion.

Now dont get me wrong I love Episode 4 till 6, but I was always intrigued with the Clone Troopers, the future Storm Troopers. They were born and raised to die for the Republic, a ideal they'll never be part of. Also it was nice to see the resemblances between Clones and droids who in all but body were all the same. Programmed to kill.

My favorite story arc of the Clone Wars was the Battle for Jabiim from Darkhorse comics. Jabiim is a rainy planet where the Republic lost many jedi and clones and mentally scarred anakan skywalker for life. It had drama, you felt for the characters when they died and it was not a complete black and white side, both the Republic and the CIS had redeeming qualities and bad ones.

But Gorvar, you might ask, why do you hate this new series then? Well let me tell you....it bodges everything the Comics, the video games and the macro series build up on, like completely.

First of, the Clone Wars is aimed at a young audience. i'm sorry, I dont care if you wanted to broaden your audience, but if I want children to see cutsy Star Wars, go watch Ewoks, when I see Clone Wars I expect my heart strings being pulled and main character's dying on mass. There isn't even any blood in this one, or severed limbs. Now Episode 4, which no doubt drew many of us when we were kids, had blood in it, so why wasn't it in the series?

Second, No dark storyline. For those who dont know Quinlan Vos, he is a Jedi Knight who had issues with the dark side even before the war started and was send by the Jedi Council to act as a double agent when he infiltrated the Separatists. This storyline was very wel done in the comics and you really felt close to Quinlan espcially when Count Dooku himself made Vos a triple agent and how it all began to consume the Jedi. There is no storyline this deep in the series. And dont give me 'oh, it's meant for kids' bullcrap. You seen Batman: TAS? Those guys weren't fucking around with us, Bruce Tim and Co gave us dark stories every week, and some didn't even have a good ending at all. Same goes with the Macro series of the Clone Wars, it added dark story lines (very impressive for a series which episode was only a 3 minute length) and in one episode showed Anakan's fall to the Dark side even better then what we saw in Episode 3.

Third, the lack of Mando mentality on the Clone Troopers. The Clone Troopers were trained by former Mandolorian warriors to fight like them, or similar to their genetic template of Jango Fett. As such they were given Mandolorian styled speeches and ways of living. We dont see that in the series, or even got a hint of it. Now i know Clones were always following orders and were fiercly loyal to the Republic, but other source material showed they sung Mandolorian war chants (polished up with pro-Republic slogans of course) and most troopers follwoed the mentality, espcially Arc Troopers like Captain Rex or the commandoes from Republic Commando. You could've had a impact here.

For example a regiment of Troopers are stuck in the middle of a warzone and are being surrounded, nobody is going to rescue them. You could either have the troopers being gunned down while they say nothing, or begin to sing a tragic war song and fight to the last man in a blaze of glory. It's just the little more depth I liked to see in them other then keep saying 'He only had two days left untill his retirement' joke over and over again.

And last....the Mandolorians themselves. These guys are the most bad ass warrior culture in Star Wars, not even the friggin' Yuuzhan Vong could take those 'bucket heads' down. They are the people both Jango Fett and Boba Fett hail from. My little problem with the portrayal of them in the seires is very upsetting... For a warlike culture which relied on war, we got three episodes where for NO REASON WHATSOEVER decided to become Pacifists. FUCKING PACIFIST MANDOLORIANS.

And you know what the worst thing was, the Death Watch, supposedly the 'evil' mando's were more Mandolorian then the one's we are supposed to be rooting for! Mandalore, the homeworld, has kept itself neutral even before the war started and it's leader doesn't even want to kill a man who threatens to blow her ship up! It just boggles the mind, how can you fuck a premise like that up? The Mandolorians were the best warriors in the galaxy and both factions, be it Republic or CIS or New Republic and Empire, tried to outpay the other faction just so they could have them on their side. We're talking about a people that could conquer entire star systems in a massive crusade across the stars being reduced to ONE planet plus moon whose sole line of defense are blue guys, who dont even sport the T shaped helmet mind you, that use friggin' gungan shock sticks!

And last but not least...General Greavous. Ever since Episode 3 people have been pissed how he is portrayed. in the macro series and comics Greavous was a ruthless monster who hated the Jedi with a passion. He is a cold, calculating military mastermind with no equal and knowing his backstory and where he came from it is no surprise why. But in the series Greavous is a little pussy who keeps running away when things start falling down. Over the current two seasons I saw Greavous not ONCE scored a victory over the Republic, not ONCE.

It's just...stupid, stupid over the entire line.

Is there anything good about this show? Yeh, three small things.

First of I like the concept of Anakan having a padawan, this being Ahsoka Tano. What I found interesting was Ahsoka uses the same light sabre style as Darth Vader's apprentice does in Star Wars: Unleashed. A nice little piece of trivia there which may or may not have been intended. I like how he interacts as her mentor and how his rashness begins to rub off on her.

Second, the fight scenes. For a show that calls itself the Clone Wars they do try their best to give us a spectacle for the eye, and it actually does a pretty good job in showing shit blow up and people die by the dozens ( all PG rated of course). The Space Battles are cool as are the Land battles, but sadly those scenes are few and far apart as the political side of it all comes into it, which is just dumb and non sensical.( Like the Jedi Council, not the Senate, that send a Senator to a undercover mission with no claims whatsoever while in Quinlan Vos' case Yoda himself had to meditate about for a long time.)

Third, the Villains. Count Dooku is still as awesome as you remember. Though not voiced by Christopher Lee himself, he is still a good villain and you smile every time he's on screen, especially when he tears into the sheer stupidity of others.

So, is this a good series? No, is it tolerable? I guess if you didn't see (better) stuff about the Clone Wars. Even though I hate it I suggest you lot should check it out and judge for yourselves.

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