Hello everyone. Yes, i’m going to bitch about games now, and what game to ideally bitch about then the horror of FF8?

Oh where do I begin with this one. The story? The characters, The gameplay? The card games? My own personal history with this game? Well since I can tear this game a new one and end up with twenty pages, I’ll just do it one review at a time, starting with...

Number 1: Gf’s and SeeD,

Time-travel stories are hard to do, and to be honest most fail at it, excluding Back to the Future. If you base a game that last well over 120 hours, your bound to run into some plot holes you’ll fall in for ages, and ages, and ages.

I don’t like any of it. The setting, the connections the party has which makes the connections in Lost look subtle.

Right, FF8 takes place in a technology advanced world where monsters roam the country side and evil witches need killing. Yes, the plot is like a fantasy game, but we got guns and spaceships and stuff so we’re cool.

There is a group of schools (SeeD) which trains teenagers into COLD BLOODED KILLERS! Well technically I’m wrong since SeeD is a mercenary group, but let’s be honest. They are trained to use magic to defeat their enemy, summon monsters to do their bidding and wield friggin’ swords.

This game sends 17 year olds into warzones to fight armed soldiers who wield friggin’ machineguns WITH SWORDS. And those are for the lucky few, most have to do with nun chuks or their own fists. Why parents don’t raise a larger fit over this I don’t know.

I don’t get anime sometimes, your giving teenagers powers that can destroy a entire city! You can even summon the devil himself in this game!

I don’t know if this is batsh*t insane, or friggin’ awesome. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s still stupid but near adults getting such powers make more sense then some girl getting a scepter that can summon a army of dragons.


The GF’s (Guardian Forces) in this game are essential because without them you cant cast magic, and since SeeD has a lot of students spread all over the world you need to have a lot of GF’s. what are GF’s exactly? I got no idea.

Seriously, all I know is-

"A GF is an independent energy force. By combining it with para-magic, it is possible to control tremendous energy. Memory loss is a possible side effect, but this has not been proven as of yet." —Final Fantasy VIII Tutorial

So not only do these ‘independent energy forces’ take the form of the devil, or a dragon or a naked ice lady ( Giving a naked lady to a boy in puberty? Yeh smart idea there, hope they don’t exchange GF’s to often)they also give you amnesia to trust the plot forward. What I don’t like about these GF’s is that they have no personality whatsoever.

There is no connection between a Gf and a party member at all, you could easily swap them out whenever a player wants to. Let’s take my favourite Gf, Ifrit. He is a Demon Gf that the player has to beat so it can join the party.

He is the only GF that seems to have some kind of personality when you face him. He dislikes humans, obviously, and is afraid of Shiva (said naked ice lady.) So if anything he should gave a connection with the main character, the one YOU play, and actually bound with him.



There is no dialogue between a Gf and a party member, no connection at all! It would’ve been awesome if every character had a Gf linked to them and would serve as their partners, filling one’s talents where the other’s lacks.

For example Squal is a whining, brooding emo git while Ifrit is a bully. Two opposites that have to work together to get their missions done. You could’ve made a cool story here! But nooooooooo....

Also here is our first plot hole....if Gf’s are so powerful, why the hell don’t we use their powers more often? Like said war zone. Instead of fighting guys with machine guns with our swords and fists, why don’t we send Diablos to deal with ‘em, I dont know about you lot but if I saw the devil coming at me, I would run my a** off? Or Ifrit throwing meteors around, seriously messing up enemy positions. Even Shiva, the naked ice chick could ‘distract’ the enemy while we sneak up on ‘em.

But no! We have to charge at enemy lines while they shoot at us! Seriously instead of this-

We should have had this! (viewer discretion is advised)

You cant see it right now, but I’m grinning ear to ear while imagining Squall and co get jack hammered all across the beach.

Right, as you can see I don’t like the characters in this all, but that’s for another time.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.