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Dead Space 2: Break-Fast
Chapter Four: You're Not Gonna Want to Smell This...
Written By AFriendlyNecromorph
With the help of
Thanks, guys! - AFN
Ellie: "I have to fart."
Isaac: "Then let it rip!"
Ellie: "RRRNT!!" (Fart sound.)
Necromorph: "Ugh. . . . That is nasty."
Spitter: To Necromorph: "Hey, you wanna go out sometime?"
Kristen: "What the hell? Phew!!!! XD" (Smells rotten egg fart.)
Isaac: "Dude, that's nasty."
Ellie: "Why are you making fun of my farts? I thought we were friends. :("
Isaac: "My girlfriend is dead, I’ve hallucinated over 30 times, so. . . . Yeah, I'm gonna joke all I want about whomever I want."
Necromorph: "Aww! Gawd!!!!" (Smells nasty fart.) "Do these things ever go away!?"
Kristen: "LOL, THIS ALL STARTED WITH A FART!!!!!"
Necromorph: "Yeah, that was unexpected. :)"
Ellie: "That’s what she said!"
- As soon as Ellie finishes her clever joke, everybody busts out laughing. Isaac looks around - confused - as their laughter starts to slow down, becoming an unrecognizable noise - now sounding like a distorted, nonhuman roar. The lights go out, and Isaac can now hear Ellie's attempts to wake him up.
Ellie: "Isaac? Are you okay? Wake up, Isaac!"
Isaac: "Ahhh! Holy shit! I just had the weirdest dream!"
Ellie: "That wasn’t a dream, Isaac. You just passed out from the smell of my farts."
Isaac: "You're telling me that everything that happened in my "dream" actually happened because it was happening in reality?"
Isaac: "Oh, well. . . . That’s even weirder, but it makes perfect nonsense. :/" (Isaac makes a funny face, winks at the camera and looks around the room.) "Hey Kristen, I didn’t expect to see you again so soon. :)"
Kristen: "Hey Isaac. Same here."
Isaac: "So. . . . Does that mean we’re still in mortal danger?"
Evil scary red-eyed creature: "No shit."
Evil scary red-eyed creature’s partner: "Durp. I’m the one who shot you with the darts. Durp."
Isaac: "All right, if there are ANYMORE interruptions, make yourselves known. . . . NOW!!! Don’t make me smack a bitch!"
- Waiting for any possible interruptions, all present characters wait and awkwardly look around in silence, as to avoid upsetting Isaac any further. Apparently, he wants to smack a bitch.
Isaac: "Okay, I don’t think anyone else is coming."
Ellie: "That's what she said!"
Kristen: "Stop! Please! You're tearing up my insides!"
Ellie: "Ha! That's what she said!"
Everybody: "ROTFL! XD"
Spitter: "Stop gushing, Isaac! I have to spit!"
Ellie: "OMG! THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!! XD"
Everybody: "OMFG ROFLCOPTER!!! XD"
Isaac: "No. . . . That's what he said."
Ellie: "No. . . . That's what she said."
Isaac: "That's what he said, literally. All three of those things. Trust me, Ellie."
Isaac: "Yeah. . . . College was a very confusing time for me." (Isaac says this as he scratches the back of his head, makes a funny face, arches his back inward and looks up at the ceiling.)
Ellie: "That's what she-" (Isaac interrupts Ellie.)
Isaac: "ENOUGH! Everyone who shouldn’t be in this scene needs to pop out of the story. . . . NOW!!!"
Kristen: "Later, guys."
Necromorph: "See you in a few minutes."
Spitter: "I’ll see you at the end of the movie."
- Kristen, Necromorph and Spitter pop-out of the story with a loud "pop."
Isaac: "Finally, no more interrup-"
- Ironically, just as Isaac is about to complete the sentence, "Finally, no more interruptions," he is interrupted by a loud "whoosh" as a mysterious vehicle swoops by overhead. Coming to a stop, a man hops out of the vehicle and approaches Isaac and Ellie.
Man: "What's up guys? It's me, Future Isaac!"
Isaac: "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" (Facepalm.)